I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigar Cigarette Ugly Christmas Sweater

Size Guide

Size Chart

SIZE LENGTH BUST SHOULDER SLEEVE
S 26.0 in 40.0 in 17.0 in 26.0 in
M 28.0 in 44.0 in 18.0 in 27.0 in
L 28.0 in 48.0 in 19.0 in 27.0 in
XL 30.0 in 52.0 in 20.0 in 28.0 in
2XL 30.0 in 56.0 in 21.0 in 28.0 in
3XL 31.0 in 60.0 in 22.0 in 28.0 in
4XL 32.0 in 64.0 in 24.0 in 29.0 in
5XL 33.0 in 68.0 in 25.0 in 29.0 in
6XL 34.0 in 73.0 in 26.0 in 29.1 in
SIZE LENGTH BUST SHOULDER SLEEVE
S 67 cm 102 cm 42 cm 67 cm
M 70 cm 112 cm 45 cm 68 cm
L 72 cm 122 cm 48 cm 69 cm
XL 75 cm 132 cm 51 cm 70.5 cm
2XL 76 cm 142 cm 54 cm 71 cm
3XL 79 cm 152 cm 57 cm 71.5 cm
4XL 82 cm 162 cm 60 cm 72.5 cm
5XL 85 cm 172 cm 63 cm 73 cm
6XL 86 cm 182 cm 66 cm 74 cm
SIZE LENGTH CHEST AGE (Years) SUGGESTED
2T 14.0 in 11.0 in 1-2 33-35 in
3T 15.0 in 12.0 in 2-3 36-39 in
4T 16.0 in 13.0 in 3-4 39-41 in
4 16.5 in 13.5 in 4-5 42-44 in
5 17.0 in 14.0 in 5 45-47 in
XS 18.0 in 15.0 in 6-8 48-50 in
S 19.0 in 15.5 in 8-10 50-54 in
M 21.0 in 16.0 in 10-12 54-58 in
L 23.0 in 18.0 in 12-13 58-62 in
XL 25.0 in 19.0 in 13-15 62-68 in
SIZE LENGTH CHEST AGE (Years) SUGGESTED
2T 35.6 cm 27.9 cm 1-2 83.8-88.9 cm
3T 38.1 cm 30.5 cm 2-3 91.4-99.1 cm
4T 40.6 cm 33.0 cm 3-4 99.1-104.1 cm
4 41.9 cm 34.3 cm 4-5 106.7-111.8 cm
5 43.2 cm 35.6 cm 5 114.3-119.4 cm
XS 45.7 cm 38.1 cm 6-8 121.9-127.0 cm
S 48.3 cm 39.4 cm 8-10 127.0-137.2 cm
M 53.3 cm 40.6 cm 10-12 137.2-147.3 cm
L 58.4 cm 45.7 cm 12-13 147.3-157.5 cm
XL 63.5 cm 48.3 cm 13-15 157.5-172.7 cm
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Estimated arrival: Place your order today (standard shipping method) to receive the product(s) within Dec 12 - Dec 17

Nov 28

Dec 04 - Dec 08

Dec 12 - Dec 17

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Make spirits bright—and slightly chaotic—with the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigar Cigarette Ugly Christmas Sweater. A bold, hilarious twist on holiday fashion for those who dare to stand out.

Dropkicks & Cigarettes: The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigar Cigarette Ugly Christmas Sweater

Deck the halls with irreverent humor in this unforgettable ugly Christmas sweater. Drenched in festive green and adorned with classic holiday motifs—snowflakes, Christmas trees, and decorative borders—it’s the perfect contradiction of cozy cheer and chaotic energy. Front and center, the white text reads: “I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigar CIGARETTE,” a phrase so outrageous it turns heads and sparks laughter wherever you go. Whether you’re attending a holiday party or just want to stir up some seasonal mischief, this sweater guarantees you won’t blend in.

I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigar Cigarette Ugly Christmas Sweater
I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigar Cigarette Ugly Christmas Sweater

This isn’t your grandma’s Christmas knit. It’s a satirical masterpiece for those who revel in absurdity and aren’t afraid to challenge the norms of holiday decorum. The exaggerated declaration is not a call to action—it’s a tongue-in-cheek jab at the lengths people joke they’d go for a moment of indulgence. It’s humor, it’s irony, it’s a vibe.

Ready to be the most talked-about guest at every holiday gathering? Slip into this I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigar Cigarette Ugly Christmas Sweater and let your festive freak flag fly. Add it to your cart now and embrace the season with unapologetic flair.

How long does it take for my order to arrive?

  • We need 3 - 5 business days to process your order and send it out (not including weekend and holidays)
  • Your order will arrive approximately 5-7 business days after it's shipped (except wooden products). We use different shipping partners, but the final delivery is usually via USPS.
  • For international orders please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery. The final delivery is usually via your local postal service.

Shipping time for 3D Printed Products:

  • United shipping time: 7-14 Business days
  • International Shipping time: 15-20 Business days

Shipping time for Canvas Wall Art:

Economy

  • $7.99 for order price under 50$
  • $9.99 for order price over 50$ and under 100$
  • $14.99 for order price over 10$ and under 200$
  • Free shipping for order price over 200$

Ground

  • $16.95 for order price under 49$
  • $21.95 for order price over 50$ and under 69$
  • $29.95 for order price over 70$ and under 139$
  • $49.95 for order price over 140$

2 Day

  • $24.95 for order price under 49$
  • $34.95 for order price over 50$ and under 69$
  • $49.95 for order price over 70$ and under 139$
  • $79.95 for order price over 140$

Overnight

  • $49.95 for order price under 49$
  • $59.95 for order price over 50$ and under 69$
  • $89.95 for order price over 70$ and under 139$
  • $139.95 for order price over 140$

Here’s how we break down our shipping prices:

  • $7.99 for order price under $49.99
  • $9.99 for orders from $50 to $99.99
  • $14.99  for orders from $100 to $199.99
  • Free Shipping for orders over $200
Shipping time for Items shipping internationally (UK, CA, AU):
  • $9.99 for an order price under $49.99
  • $14.99 for orders from $50 to $99.99
  • $16.99 for orders from $100 to $199.99
  • $18.99 for orders from $200 to $399.99
  • Free ship for orders over $400

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